Allyship and Equity Community

Hello Allyship and Equity Community!

I think this forum is a great outlet for people of all communication styles and comfort levels to share their experiences.

With that, I'm going to put myself out there for a little vulnerable honesty…

As part of this community, I sometimes feel like I don't quite measure up to the strength of the voices and contributions I see demonstrated by many of you. As an introvert and shy gal (those who know, know that these are two different things!), I've always been someone who tries to lead by actions and example before my words.

But the more I reflect on it, the more I realize that while the "actions speak louder than words" rule applies so well in many areas, allyship is one space where we must have a voice as a driver of our actions. Our words motivate, support, and amplify our message, and they reinforce and put power behind the actions we take. In a world that is very sensitive to our choice of words, let's face it, this can get uncomfortable real fast, especially when none of us want to be made to feel like caring about allyship makes us "too soft." But really, showing up for others and using your voice is one of the strongest things you can do.

Which brings me to my question. I would love to learn how you find your voice in allyship, or how you support the voices of others in the communities you belong to?

For those who find it challenging, what makes it hard to speak up as an ally, and what has helped you push through?

And for those who have a fearless fire in them and have long found their voice, what words of wisdom do you have for others, and how do you support emerging voices?

I recognize this is pretty broad, but it's something that affects everyone in this community in one way or another. Welcoming all perspectives here!

------------------------------
Julia Scholl
Marketing Manager
Park Loyalty, Inc.
Baraboo WI
------------------------------

Growing up in a black family, I was taught to gain my voice. I saw my parents experience discrimination, especially my father. I then experienced it as well. I have always spoken up and used my words wisely as a source of power. I am blessed to say that speaking up for those whose voices have been diminished is my passion. It does not always make me popular and has labeled me in some situations. However, I have to stand up for what I know to be right, fair, and just. I help people to gain their voices through mentorship and through sharing my own experiences. If you have your ducks in order, your documentation, etc., then you speak with a voice of authority that is much harder for people to brush off and silence.

------------------------------
Vanessa Cummings
CEO
Ms. V Consulting, LLC
Oxford OH
------------------------------

Thank you for your perspective.  Having my voice doesn't seem to be an issue, it is using it in a system that was built to ignore that voice and provide me no support when I need it.

------------------------------
Faye Morrison
Parking Manager
City of Manchester, New Hampshire Parking Division
Manchester NH
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 12-04-2025 01:18
From: Vanessa Cummings
Subject: You know the old expression "actions speak louder than words?" In allyship, our words ARE action. What has given you the strength to make your voice heard?

Growing up in a black family, I was taught to gain my voice. I saw my parents experience discrimination, especially my father. I then experienced it as well. I have always spoken up and used my words wisely as a source of power. I am blessed to say that speaking up for those whose voices have been diminished is my passion. It does not always make me popular and has labeled me in some situations. However, I have to stand up for what I know to be right, fair, and just. I help people to gain their voices through mentorship and through sharing my own experiences. If you have your ducks in order, your documentation, etc., then you speak with a voice of authority that is much harder for people to brush off and silence.

------------------------------
Vanessa Cummings
CEO
Ms. V Consulting, LLC
Oxford OH
------------------------------

Faye, what you brought up about an unsupportive system is saddening and unfortunately unsurprising. This is a topic that is in itself a rabbit hole, understanding why there is such dismissiveness en masse in the first place and how to navigate the path to change it. The onus shouldn't rest on you alone. The excuses for dismissiveness can come from a lot of places: apathy, discomfort, fear, how they feel they should respond politically or socially…or simply not knowing how to make a difference. All I can say is that I look up to your strength in continuing to speak up despite the uphill battle you face. 

------------------------------
Julia Scholl
Marketing Manager
Park Loyalty, Inc.
Baraboo WI
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 12-04-2025 08:45
From: Faye Morrison
Subject: You know the old expression "actions speak louder than words?" In allyship, our words ARE action. What has given you the strength to make your voice heard?

Thank you for your perspective.  Having my voice doesn't seem to be an issue, it is using it in a system that was built to ignore that voice and provide me no support when I need it.

------------------------------
Faye Morrison
Parking Manager
City of Manchester, New Hampshire Parking Division
Manchester NH
------------------------------


Original Message:
Sent: 12-04-2025 01:18
From: Vanessa Cummings
Subject: You know the old expression "actions speak louder than words?" In allyship, our words ARE action. What has given you the strength to make your voice heard?

Growing up in a black family, I was taught to gain my voice. I saw my parents experience discrimination, especially my father. I then experienced it as well. I have always spoken up and used my words wisely as a source of power. I am blessed to say that speaking up for those whose voices have been diminished is my passion. It does not always make me popular and has labeled me in some situations. However, I have to stand up for what I know to be right, fair, and just. I help people to gain their voices through mentorship and through sharing my own experiences. If you have your ducks in order, your documentation, etc., then you speak with a voice of authority that is much harder for people to brush off and silence.

------------------------------
Vanessa Cummings
CEO
Ms. V Consulting, LLC
Oxford OH

Julia

Thank you for the kind words, what I see sometimes is, parking is an unpopular cash cow, no one likes getting ticketed, but we are pressured to bring in that money.  Which I can easily do with the resources to do the work, without it we are just treading water and keeping our noses inches from going under.

  It's good that the industry is just starting to think about mental health and the long-term effects of being treated horribly as a course of doing business.  Add misogyny, racism, and political agendas and it's just a meltdown recipe, but you're not allowed to do that, or you get called all the predictable names, my favorite is the angry black woman syndrome.  It negates the fact that sometimes there is a reason to be angry, just another way to silence.

Even when you communicate without raising your voice.  Sigh.

------------------------------
Faye Morrison
Parking Manager
City of Manchester, New Hampshire Parking Division
Manchester NH
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 12-04-2025 12:57
From: Julia Scholl
Subject: You know the old expression "actions speak louder than words?" In allyship, our words ARE action. What has given you the strength to make your voice heard?

Faye, what you brought up about an unsupportive system is saddening and unfortunately unsurprising. This is a topic that is in itself a rabbit hole, understanding why there is such dismissiveness en masse in the first place and how to navigate the path to change it. The onus shouldn't rest on you alone. The excuses for dismissiveness can come from a lot of places: apathy, discomfort, fear, how they feel they should respond politically or socially…or simply not knowing how to make a difference. All I can say is that I look up to your strength in continuing to speak up despite the uphill battle you face. 

------------------------------
Julia Scholl
Marketing Manager
Park Loyalty, Inc.
Baraboo WI
------------------------------


Original Message:
Sent: 12-04-2025 08:45
From: Faye Morrison
Subject: You know the old expression "actions speak louder than words?" In allyship, our words ARE action. What has given you the strength to make your voice heard?

Thank you for your perspective.  Having my voice doesn't seem to be an issue, it is using it in a system that was built to ignore that voice and provide me no support when I need it.

------------------------------
Faye Morrison
Parking Manager
City of Manchester, New Hampshire Parking Division
Manchester NH


Original Message:
Sent: 12-04-2025 01:18
From: Vanessa Cummings
Subject: You know the old expression "actions speak louder than words?" In allyship, our words ARE action. What has given you the strength to make your voice heard?

Growing up in a black family, I was taught to gain my voice. I saw my parents experience discrimination, especially my father. I then experienced it as well. I have always spoken up and used my words wisely as a source of power. I am blessed to say that speaking up for those whose voices have been diminished is my passion. It does not always make me popular and has labeled me in some situations. However, I have to stand up for what I know to be right, fair, and just. I help people to gain their voices through mentorship and through sharing my own experiences. If you have your ducks in order, your documentation, etc., then you speak with a voice of authority that is much harder for people to brush off and silence.

------------------------------
Vanessa Cummings
CEO
Ms. V Consulting, LLC
Oxford OH

Faye, I can relate. I had somone who I had been working with, suddenly go around me and cause problems for me. I went to her office and, needless to say, I was professional but very firm and I laid her out. She never made that mistake again. Was I misunderstood as being angry, yep! The person who sat in on the meeting came to my office to commend me on how well I handled my anger. I said, you didn't see anger; I was not angry, I was pissed. They are not the same. Own your voice and just know that, no matter what, you may be misunderstood. Do your best not to let that silence your voice. The struggle is very real.

------------------------------
Vanessa Cummings
CEO
Ms. V Consulting, LLC
Oxford OH
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 12-04-2025 14:35
From: Faye Morrison
Subject: You know the old expression "actions speak louder than words?" In allyship, our words ARE action. What has given you the strength to make your voice heard?

Julia

Thank you for the kind words, what I see sometimes is, parking is an unpopular cash cow, no one likes getting ticketed, but we are pressured to bring in that money.  Which I can easily do with the resources to do the work, without it we are just treading water and keeping our noses inches from going under.

  It's good that the industry is just starting to think about mental health and the long-term effects of being treated horribly as a course of doing business.  Add misogyny, racism, and political agendas and it's just a meltdown recipe, but you're not allowed to do that, or you get called all the predictable names, my favorite is the angry black woman syndrome.  It negates the fact that sometimes there is a reason to be angry, just another way to silence.

Even when you communicate without raising your voice.  Sigh.

------------------------------
Faye Morrison
Parking Manager
City of Manchester, New Hampshire Parking Division
Manchester NH
------------------------------


Original Message:
Sent: 12-04-2025 12:57
From: Julia Scholl
Subject: You know the old expression "actions speak louder than words?" In allyship, our words ARE action. What has given you the strength to make your voice heard?

Faye, what you brought up about an unsupportive system is saddening and unfortunately unsurprising. This is a topic that is in itself a rabbit hole, understanding why there is such dismissiveness en masse in the first place and how to navigate the path to change it. The onus shouldn't rest on you alone. The excuses for dismissiveness can come from a lot of places: apathy, discomfort, fear, how they feel they should respond politically or socially…or simply not knowing how to make a difference. All I can say is that I look up to your strength in continuing to speak up despite the uphill battle you face. 

------------------------------
Julia Scholl
Marketing Manager
Park Loyalty, Inc.
Baraboo WI


Original Message:
Sent: 12-04-2025 08:45
From: Faye Morrison
Subject: You know the old expression "actions speak louder than words?" In allyship, our words ARE action. What has given you the strength to make your voice heard?

Thank you for your perspective.  Having my voice doesn't seem to be an issue, it is using it in a system that was built to ignore that voice and provide me no support when I need it.

------------------------------
Faye Morrison
Parking Manager
City of Manchester, New Hampshire Parking Division
Manchester NH


Original Message:
Sent: 12-04-2025 01:18
From: Vanessa Cummings
Subject: You know the old expression "actions speak louder than words?" In allyship, our words ARE action. What has given you the strength to make your voice heard?

Growing up in a black family, I was taught to gain my voice. I saw my parents experience discrimination, especially my father. I then experienced it as well. I have always spoken up and used my words wisely as a source of power. I am blessed to say that speaking up for those whose voices have been diminished is my passion. It does not always make me popular and has labeled me in some situations. However, I have to stand up for what I know to be right, fair, and just. I help people to gain their voices through mentorship and through sharing my own experiences. If you have your ducks in order, your documentation, etc., then you speak with a voice of authority that is much harder for people to brush off and silence.

------------------------------
Vanessa Cummings
CEO
Ms. V Consulting, LLC
Oxford OH

Vanessa, seeing the lessons your parents passed down to you in the face of discrimination shows how much our early experiences shape our voice. It's inspiring how your family took the cruelty of that discrimination and, instead of being defeated by it, found resilience that guided you and helped you grow into such a strong leader.

I love that you mentioned mentorship. I think about this all the time and need to seek this out. It's such a worthy path to consider when finding your voice, particularly for those who already have the intention and heart but need the push to materialize that potential. As we get older, I think many people veer away from being mentees, but we don't age out of the benefits! And from the mentor side for someone like yourself, it's such a gift to give.

------------------------------
Julia Scholl
Marketing Manager
Park Loyalty, Inc.
Baraboo WI
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 12-04-2025 01:18
From: Vanessa Cummings
Subject: You know the old expression "actions speak louder than words?" In allyship, our words ARE action. What has given you the strength to make your voice heard?

Growing up in a black family, I was taught to gain my voice. I saw my parents experience discrimination, especially my father. I then experienced it as well. I have always spoken up and used my words wisely as a source of power. I am blessed to say that speaking up for those whose voices have been diminished is my passion. It does not always make me popular and has labeled me in some situations. However, I have to stand up for what I know to be right, fair, and just. I help people to gain their voices through mentorship and through sharing my own experiences. If you have your ducks in order, your documentation, etc., then you speak with a voice of authority that is much harder for people to brush off and silence.

------------------------------
Vanessa Cummings
CEO
Ms. V Consulting, LLC
Oxford OH
------------------------------

Finding your voice:  I believe many have a fear of getting it wrong.  We worry about saying something and then unintentionally offending someone.  We need to remember that we are not perfect, and we are going to make mistakes, but this is part of us growing. Starting a hard conversation with something like " I might not be expressing this correctly, but it is important" show humbleness.  It is also important to seek feedback instead of approval, this helps in our growth process. 

There is always a fear of professional repercussions if we are unsure of ourselves or the topic, we need to discuss with others is something perhaps our co-workers are not supportive of but needs to be discussed for say a team project. At work there could be fear of alienation or retaliation because we have different beliefs or perhaps you are in support of a different view.  This sometimes forces me personally to hesitate in bringing it to the table in fear of someone going on the attack.  In some conversations I have seen others hesitate to step in because you can see they are unsure if they will receive the same reaction or response. 

Understanding that allyship is not about taking over, but is more about supporting, elevating and using influence responsibly is crucial to the process.  We need to work on avoiding assumptions and lean more towards offing support to others when we see or hear something we know is not right. We need to start with small actions and support others in meetings, lift them up, or ask clarifying questions. It took me years to find my voice when I started my career in a male dominated industry.  Always waiting for someone else to speak up first and watching as this person in charge who was supposed to be our leader picked apart another female counter part as we all sat and thought, "wow, better her than me today, so glad I did not say anything". I regret those actions every day and wish I had worked up the courage to step up and speak out and say enough!  I can say honestly, today I am able to do this. It is a work in progress every day, and I am not exactly where I should or need to be, but I am making progress. Thank you everyone for sharing your experiences. It is good to know we are not alone. 

------------------------------
S. Maria Tamayo-Soto MBA, CAPP
Parking Services Manager
City of Las Vegas
Las Vegas, Nevada
702-229-6085
------------------------------

S. Maria

All such good advice wish I could get people to comply, but more times than not someone in leadership will send a text while a meeting is going on, instead of speaking and being supportive in the meeting itself.  Frustrating, and it is why I am glad the clock is ticking for me, I can retire in a few years, and I am happy to just have survived to this point, because stress kills and the micro aggressions start to add up.

Now I just keep moving forward, what my organization has lost, I won't innovate or make changes even when I see they are needed.  They like the status quo I am fine with it as well. 

------------------------------
Faye Morrison
Parking Manager
City of Manchester, New Hampshire Parking Division
Manchester NH
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 12-08-2025 21:32
From: Maria Tamayo-Soto
Subject: You know the old expression "actions speak louder than words?" In allyship, our words ARE action. What has given you the strength to make your voice heard?

Finding your voice:  I believe many have a fear of getting it wrong.  We worry about saying something and then unintentionally offending someone.  We need to remember that we are not perfect, and we are going to make mistakes, but this is part of us growing. Starting a hard conversation with something like " I might not be expressing this correctly, but it is important" show humbleness.  It is also important to seek feedback instead of approval, this helps in our growth process. 

There is always a fear of professional repercussions if we are unsure of ourselves or the topic, we need to discuss with others is something perhaps our co-workers are not supportive of but needs to be discussed for say a team project. At work there could be fear of alienation or retaliation because we have different beliefs or perhaps you are in support of a different view.  This sometimes forces me personally to hesitate in bringing it to the table in fear of someone going on the attack.  In some conversations I have seen others hesitate to step in because you can see they are unsure if they will receive the same reaction or response. 

Understanding that allyship is not about taking over, but is more about supporting, elevating and using influence responsibly is crucial to the process.  We need to work on avoiding assumptions and lean more towards offing support to others when we see or hear something we know is not right. We need to start with small actions and support others in meetings, lift them up, or ask clarifying questions. It took me years to find my voice when I started my career in a male dominated industry.  Always waiting for someone else to speak up first and watching as this person in charge who was supposed to be our leader picked apart another female counter part as we all sat and thought, "wow, better her than me today, so glad I did not say anything". I regret those actions every day and wish I had worked up the courage to step up and speak out and say enough!  I can say honestly, today I am able to do this. It is a work in progress every day, and I am not exactly where I should or need to be, but I am making progress. Thank you everyone for sharing your experiences. It is good to know we are not alone. 

------------------------------
S. Maria Tamayo-Soto MBA, CAPP
Parking Services Manager
City of Las Vegas
Las Vegas, Nevada
702-229-6085
------------------------------

Julie,
Something most people would never believe is that i grew up a quiet kid in the back corner of class. I often wanted to be overlooked, unquestioned, unseen and unheard. It wasn't until I was on the wrong end of bullying and not fitting in that i decided to lift my own voice and sing. I decided that not only every would-be bully would know my voice, so would every teacher, custodian, librarian, administrator and student.  At Owen Brown Middle School (Columbia MD), I found a crafty way to do the morning announcements and pledge of allegiance. I literally was in the principal's office EVERY DAYUM DAY. No one would be foolish enough to mess with me when i have the ears of the entire school.  (Melissa still gets nervous when i say im going off script) But the very fact that I had the trust of administration let me share the stage with select classmates who also would join in the daily ritual of exercising our voices.

If you attended the Keynote in Louisville, you'll remember picking up a ping pong ball on the way in. You'll also remember throwing them at a fearless bold volunteer. 
YEAH... that was ME! Dr Rebecca Heiss set the stage for you to take fearless action, and you've done that here by lending your voice to forum. I absolutely appreciate that. Perhaps this is an opportunity for you to leverage your access to this stage and begin building the voices you support as well as those inner voices of your own in a manner that builds fearlessness within.

The very action of taking bold steps forward is what changed how I decided to grow into my voice. As a member of this committee, sharing the articles in the IPMI Magazine that resonate with you is an easy way to amplify the message while honoring your introversion. If you ever need a sounding board, someone to help shape a bold message, another voice to deliver or even an outlet for said message let us know. I feel as though our true and authentic selves have a save space here. Even if you need a savage save space, this just may be the right time to define what that looks like and how to advance your voice among the others.

------------------------------
Joseph Madison
Assistant Program Delivery Manager
Georgia Department of Transportation
Atlanta GA
------------------------------

Thank you for such kind and encouraging words, Joseph. I loved your morning announcements story. What a great sounding board (literally)! And would you have thought at the time that would have made such an impact on who you are today?

In reflection, I actually felt far bolder as a kid than I often do as an adult. People are often surprised to hear that I loved and thrived in theater when I was younger. Quiet folks have a way of surprising people at times. Something about not being as hyper-focused on potential consequences, while also being surrounded by people every day, whether in school or activities, created more opportunities to put yourself out there, be heard, and take risks with your voice. So at the risk of sounding completely and utterly corny, maybe it is time to seek some wisdom from my inner child. ;)

I say this as I plug away working from home every day, which I love and wouldn't change for anything. But admittedly, one cost is missing some of those rich interactions that help us build our presence. Because of that, I have to be more intentional about seeking opportunities, rather than being immersed in an environment that naturally presents them.

I love the wisdom and experiences being shared here, and conversations like this genuinely motivate me to keep moving forward. I'm grateful for this space and for the encouragement to keep finding ways to use and support our voices in ways that feel authentic.

------------------------------
Julia Scholl
Marketing Manager
Park Loyalty, Inc.
Baraboo WI
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 12-09-2025 11:25
From: Joseph Madison
Subject: You know the old expression "actions speak louder than words?" In allyship, our words ARE action. What has given you the strength to make your voice heard?

Julie,
Something most people would never believe is that i grew up a quiet kid in the back corner of class. I often wanted to be overlooked, unquestioned, unseen and unheard. It wasn't until I was on the wrong end of bullying and not fitting in that i decided to lift my own voice and sing. I decided that not only every would-be bully would know my voice, so would every teacher, custodian, librarian, administrator and student.  At Owen Brown Middle School (Columbia MD), I found a crafty way to do the morning announcements and pledge of allegiance. I literally was in the principal's office EVERY DAYUM DAY. No one would be foolish enough to mess with me when i have the ears of the entire school.  (Melissa still gets nervous when i say im going off script) But the very fact that I had the trust of administration let me share the stage with select classmates who also would join in the daily ritual of exercising our voices.

If you attended the Keynote in Louisville, you'll remember picking up a ping pong ball on the way in. You'll also remember throwing them at a fearless bold volunteer. 
YEAH... that was ME! Dr Rebecca Heiss set the stage for you to take fearless action, and you've done that here by lending your voice to forum. I absolutely appreciate that. Perhaps this is an opportunity for you to leverage your access to this stage and begin building the voices you support as well as those inner voices of your own in a manner that builds fearlessness within.

The very action of taking bold steps forward is what changed how I decided to grow into my voice. As a member of this committee, sharing the articles in the IPMI Magazine that resonate with you is an easy way to amplify the message while honoring your introversion. If you ever need a sounding board, someone to help shape a bold message, another voice to deliver or even an outlet for said message let us know. I feel as though our true and authentic selves have a save space here. Even if you need a savage save space, this just may be the right time to define what that looks like and how to advance your voice among the others.

------------------------------
Joseph Madison
Assistant Program Delivery Manager
Georgia Department of Transportation
Atlanta GA
------------------------------